You Deserve a Comprehensive Relationship Assessment

I’m often asked what my best recommendation is for couples as a board-certified Couple and Family Psychologist.

It’s this: Get a comprehensive relationship assessment done, this month, and level up your relationship.

The advice I’ve given my own family is to work with someone who uses an actual assessment beyond a standard interview — a psychologist who specializes in the Gottman Method or who uses a similarly structured evaluation.

As in medicine, expert intervention is predicated on expert evaluation and assessment. The Gottman Institute offers us the first part of a four-part expert assessment. It’s called the Relationship Checkup — an empirically-built assessment with over 400 data points that paints a reliably valid picture of a couple’s overall relationship health.

The psychologist working with you will orchestrate the administration and interpretation of the Relationship Checkup. Your job is to answer the questions as best you can before the next part of this expert evaluation.

Interviews

Your first interview ought to be conducted jointly and should focus on understanding the trajectory of your relationship, from your very first moments to the latest. Among many other things, it should focus on your beliefs about romantic relationships, your history, and how you currently maintain emotional connection.

The second and third interviews should be individual, focusing on current mental health challenges, as well as a diagnostic interview, if necessary. It needs to include a strong developmental history, including romantic and sexual health. This is the time you realistically explore with your provider the commitment you currently feel to your partner and the relationship.

Feedback and Planning

The last part of a solid evaluation of a couple will include actionable feedback and a specific plan to address the challenges they are facing. Fifty-plus years of research suggest there are known best practices that couples can engage in that will enhance their relationships.

The last part of the feedback is a plan to use specific evidence-based strategies and skills to improve the relationship in the coming week.

To start, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory to find a provider trained in the Gottman Method. You should schedule at least 2-3 free consultations with experts of your choosing. If you were family, I’d tell you to find a psychologist who used an evidence-based method and always relied on starting with a 4-hour comprehensive assessment.

Original article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202508/you-deserve-a-comprehensive-relationship-assessment